Breaking down the best Super Bowl prop bets

DEDHAM — The Patriots aren't in the Super Bowl. It's unfortunate and upsetting, but unfortunately it's the cold hard reality of the situation.

Instead we're left with Super Bowl storylines like, "Can Peyton Manning's noodle arm survive one more game," and "Are the Panthers sneakily one of the greatest teams of all-time?"

Not quite the same as watching Brady and company try and win one for the thumb (at least for the people of New England), now is it?

That doesn't mean the game is bereft of drama. Especially if you have some skin in the Super Bowl.

Vegas has all kinds of options for things you can bet on during the game. Some that are normal and within the game itself, and some that are weird and have absolutely nothing to do with football itself.

With that said, we're going to break down the best bets of the day, starting with a hypothetical (wink wink) $500 to spend. Let's get weird.

Lady Gaga OVER 2 minutes, 16.5 seconds for the national anthem -- $50 bet to win $45

This is one of my favorites every year, and is the best way to have a heart attack as you time out the anthem. I always try to do some research on past anthems, but Gaga hasn't sung many. In fact, I only found video of one, at the New York City Pride parade back in 2014. During that anthem Gaga finished in ~2:14.5, about 2 seconds less than the number posted. However, the Super Bowl always adds a few seconds to the average, as every singer wants to show that their pipes can hold out that last syllable of Braveeeeeeeee longer than their predecessors. It'll be close, but I like the over.

OVER 1.5 times Jim Nantz/Phil Simms say dab/dabbing   -- $100 bet to win $90

This apparently includes pre and post game, and I think it's the best bet on the board. Cam Newton is going to dab during the game, and Nantz and Simms will talk about it. There may even be mentions to previous dabbing, or future dabbing, or kids dabbing, or grandparents dabbing. Dabbing is hot on the streets. I say we get close to five dab mentions before it's all said and done.

TAILS in the coin toss  -- $25 bet to win $23.50

Tails never fails. That's just science

OVER 1.5 times Archie Manning is shown during the game -- $100 bet to win $90

It's Peyton's last game, Archie is Peyton's dad. First family of football will be mentioned at least three times. Again, take the over.

Will there be an Earthquake during the game (10 to 1 odds) -- No actual bet, just pointing out the stupidity 

What the hell? No there will not be an Earthquake. 10 to 1? Is there an Earthquake going on 10% of the time in Santa Clara? They'd have to make this 1,000:1 for me to consider, and even then I'd feel dirty.

Cam Newton's longest rush will be OVER 12.5 yards  -- $50 bet to win $45

Vegas is really, really good at picking these numbers. In 18 games this season, Cam has had a run of 13+ yards in nine of those games, which by my quick math would be exactly 50%. My guess is that the Broncos pass rush gets a little overzealous on at least one rush, and if Cam gets to the outside, he's going to rush for 13 or more yards.

Broncos OVER 1.5 total turnovers. -- $50 bet to win $45

The Panthers have forced at least two turnovers in 13 of their 18 games (72.2%). The Broncos have turned it over at least two times in nine of their 18 games (50%). Combine those numbers and you're looking at about a 60% chance this hits, I'll take those odds.

Greg Olsen scores the first touchdown +650 (Meaning you would make $650 if you bet $100 on this)  -- $25 bet to win $162.50

I think Carolina scores first, and the Broncos one real weakness is against tight ends. Olsen is Newton's number one target and the odds on him are much better than on Newton (+400) or Panthers running back Jonathan Stewart (+325). So I'll roll with Olsen

The gatorade will be BLUE +225  -- $50 bet to win $112.50

Always go with the color of the team you think is going to win. Pretty sure the Panthers picked their color by looking at Arctic Freeze gatorade, that's how close the two colors are. Look for Ron Rivera to be doused in Blue gatorade as the clock runs out.

The first person the Super Bowl MVP thanks will be TEAMMATES +150  -- $50 bet to win $75

God is the favorite, but I feel like both quarterbacks go out of their way to mention their teammates at every turn. Kind of like FANS at +700, but I'll play it safe (really hope this doesn't come back to bite me)

So that's $500 on nine bets total. We win them all, and that $500 turns into about $1200. Go Panthers (and tails, and blue gatorade, and Lady Gaga's vocal cords and..)

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