'I Felt Powerless': Gisele Bündchen opens up about battle with panic attacks

SAO PAULO, BRAZIL - APRIL 15: Gisele Bundchen walks the runway during the Colcci show at SPFW Summer 2016 at Parque Candido Portinari on April 15, 2015 in Sao Paulo, Brazil. (Photo by Fernanda Calfat/Getty Images)

From the outside looking in, Gisele Bündchen has the life most women can only dream of having.

As one of the highest paid super models in the world, married to one of the greatest quarterbacks of all time, mother of two beautiful children, Bündchen's life seems picture-perfect - but not everything is as flawless as it seems.

In a brand new tell-all memoir, Bündchen reveals she's struggled with panic attacks and even suicidal thoughts.

"Lessons: My Path to a Meaningful Life" is a raw, honest confession from Bündchen where she details how her life as a supermodel began to add up and began to have mental and physical effects on her.

Her first panic attack happened on a bumpy flight back in 2003, which eventually led to a fear of tunnels, elevators and enclosed spaces.

In an interview with People magazine, Bündchen said:

“I had a wonderful position in my career, I was very close to my family, and I always considered myself a positive person, so I was really beating myself up. Like, ‘Why should I be feeling this?’ I felt like I wasn’t allowed to feel bad. But I felt powerless. Your world becomes smaller and smaller, and you can’t breathe, which is the worst feeling I’ve ever had."

Bündchen says that, when the panic attacks started happening inside her own home, she began thinking about killing herself, saying, “I actually had the feeling of, ‘If I just jump off my balcony, this is going to end, and I never have to worry about this feeling of my world closing in.’”

When she was prescribed Xanax for her anxiety, Bündchen took a different approach and completely changed her lifestyle, which now included yoga, mediation and a more health-conscious diet.

"Lessons: My Path to a Meaningful Life" hits the stores next Tuesday, Oct. 2.