SUDBURY, Mass. — A Sudbury family’s trials of raising a transgender youth will be profiled in an HBO Vice show Friday night.
Titled “Trans Youth”, the Vice on HBO episode explores the complexity of medical intervention with transgender youth and their parents.
The O’Brien family is a large part of the episode, following Max, a now 9-year-old transgender boy. His parents, Rachel and Tom, divulge the emotional moments of being parents to a trans kid.
“The suicide rate in the trans community is something like 40 percent. When you factor in an accepting family, it drops,” said Tom O’Brien, a pastor in a church.
Rachel said she always knew something was different with Max, she just didn’t know what it was.
“After he told us and I looked back, it made a lot more sense,” she said.
She said that Max told them he was a boy at 7 years old, and when he left first grade he was a girl but came back a boy.
Along with school, the transition included telling their social circle, meaning Tom’s church, Memorial Congregation Church. He said that about five years prior the church had already had a discussion about transgender people and had set the foundation to be welcoming to all.
“I’ve never struggled with Max’s story…or anything regarding the LGBT community. I believe that everything we do has to be through a lens of love,” said Tom.
He said the church, which he has lead for seven years, has been supportive and accepting.
After Max went through what is called the “social transition” and his parents decided it was time to look at the medical side. That’s how HBO found them.
The O’Briens contacted Boston Children’s Hospital Gender Management Service and waited to see a doctor.
“There aren’t a lot of places in the country you can go,” said Rachel.
The doctors helped the O’Briens explore the medical side of transitioning and the difficulties that can come with it, which is what the HBO Vice show details in depth. Max is now on hormone blockers to stop female puberty.
“It’s more day by day – we are at a spot now in Max’s life that things are on hold, now that he’s on hormone blockers,” said Tom.
The doctors at Boston Children’s told them that HBO and Vice were looking for families to profile. Rachel said she’d think about it, but wasn’t totally on board.
Then, she thought back to a PBS documentary that had really helped her at the beginning of Max’s transition.
“I thought maybe if we do this HBO show, maybe there are families that are having a hard time and it can help them,” she said.
For Tom, helping others was also a big motivator. He also wanted to bring his faith into the discussion.
“I want to show people that there are Christians that are open and accepting of trans folk and the LGBT community. I wanted to put a positive spin on progressive Christianity,” he said.
The episode is Friday night on HBO, and the O’Briens haven’t seen it yet, but are excited to see the end result. As for Max, he’s enjoyed the attention, but Tom said he’s not sure if he grasps how many people will see the episode.
“He enjoys telling his story – he hasn’t experienced much negative yet,” said Tom.
Rachel said they’ve worked to protect Max as much as possible, but they know it can’t last forever.